I Like It Best!

Yesterday when I called my kids to come and set the table, the question was asked, “How many people are eating with us?” This question was asked not only because once in a while one of us is not there at dinner time, but is asked every time the table is set because we frequently have extra people with us for dinner.  When I replied that just the six of us would be eating dinner at our table, Wendy said,”I like it best when it’s just us and we are all here!” That made my day. I work hard to get everyone together for a healthy meal and sometimes like to hear appreciation expressed by other members of the family.  I believe the implications of gathering together as a family regularly, while we share the common need for food, are huge. I will share a couple of quotes from Jeff Hamblin, a local chef instructor who did his PhD dissertation on the importance of the family meal:

“It seems that we often forcibly and extrinsically identify the rules or laws that will reform society, preserve or enhance culture, and transmit civilization; when in truth it is the common acts of social processes that convey the norms and morals of a culture.”

“The most natural way to ensure that every individual in society is nourished physically, emotionally, and socially is through a healthy family system.”

“Every shared family dinner [is] a mini-feast or festival, so that it can, like a feast, celebrate both the interconnectedness and the self-control of the group‘s members.” (Visser p. 22).

“In this manner, we surround ourselves with a support group that helps us through both the joys and difficulties of life‘s situations.”

So you see, a family meal shared has the potential to do more than merely meet our nutrient needs. In this setting, we are training futures leaders, passing on morals (heaven knows we need more people with these!), manners, and memories. We are also sharing our triumphs and trials in the company of those who love us most. We make ourselves available to clarify misconceptions, answer questions, and offer advice.

In our busy lives, how often do our kids get our undivided attention, or do we have the undivided attention of our teenagers? I think we would all do well to make the family meal time a higher priority and try to remove as many distractions as possible. Don’t share valuable meal time attention with televisions, phones, etc.

Depending on our life stage, or let’s face it-the day, we might spend some time chasing down an escapee, removing flung noodles from a child’s hair, or wondering out loud if our kids will ever have acceptable table manners, but that’s life. Stick with it! That child whose hair has noodles in it will one day be a leader in his or her own way.